Oh the Autism Woes

So... I have been reading up on Autism blogs and found a sad theme that these mamas have been ripped off of that holiday spirit. 

For starters over here, in my house, it took Matthew a while to build that spirit up in me.  My mom hated the holiday, we were always broke so she felt soooo super obligated to try to buy us nice things that she got stressed out. 

I remember, though, that it was awfully fun to bake ornaments.  We made salt cookies and hung them on the tree.  Anything you like.  All the old cookie-cutters she'd collected probably from her years of having a second-hand store in Seattle. 

I also remember, though, one christmas particularly sucked for me, I had a bad reaction to some vaccine or other, or maybe had gotten some sort of flu, but I couldn't pick my head up and had such a killer headache that mom put me in a highchair (I was way too old for highchairs) so I could make cookies with everyone.  But I digress...

Matthew made them fun for me.  I am lucky to have such a wonderful and caring husband, who also has a lot of patience for me when "I hate everything" comes around in me. 

That being said, I am not going to let Autism rip us off.  I will (as I am sure Matthew will) find some way of getting Gavin to truly enjoy this holiday, like Matthew has helped me to figure it out.  I read in other mama's blogs that they have other kids, typically developing kids, who love the holiday and run for the tree, while their autistic or atypically developing kids go for their usual favorites.  One mama considerately noted that the usual faves could be tucked under the tannenbaum - it would get all the kids in the right place :) 

I think Matthew and I still haven't made the final decision to have a second child, we both would like to, but we have some serious matters to attend to - money, our own house, and making sure Gavin is getting what he needs to thrive.  I don't believe this will be a lifetime set-back for him. 

I really don't.  He is a very smart, very charismatic kid and according to his teachers, "is cognitively where he should be."  It makes me a little sad that he's already in school, at two.  It makes me a little more sad that next year, he will be in school full time - at three!!! 

I was in half-days in kindergarten, and I didn't like it - they made me be "teacher's special helper" because I could already read and tie my shoes - so I quit and started the next year in first grade.  I was in classes for the advanced kids in 4th grade, which they didn't really have, so they handed me my algebra textbook and put me in the same cubicles in the library where kids did detention.  That didn't work so well... but that was then. 

I am fearful of what the school system has become.  I don't understand why people are rapidly bucking convention and expect kids to be reading for comprehension in kindergarten - that used to be in 4th grade.  I looked it up!  It feels like they are trying to compete globally, and mucking up all the fundamentals in the process.  Eradicate Art in the governer's budget, eradicate the special needs funding.  Or at least the bits that were in need.  These budgets won't go entirely away - but ... dangit ... who could actually afford a cut right now?  It isn't kids.  The state of schools is nauseating, when where there is a highschool with less than a 48% graduation rate getting reamed for their participation in education, and the kids they are getting from middle schools in their area can't even read. 

Wait, I thought they were supposed to be reading in kindergarten.  Ugh... Can we put building blocks back in the curriculum? 

I have always felt very strongly that education begins at home.  We might not have had much when I was growing up, but books were always a hit at christmas.  I bet, since Gavin is such a book-fiend, that if we gave him nothing but books at christmas he'd be the world's biggest christmas lover! There are certainly strategies I can employ.  I have been fearful that the way our diagnose-adios played out, other families are really getting the shaft.  I need to do more checking on more more more more services, but between work and being a mom (which is really what I want to be doing all the time, being a mom to my son, who has done nothing to deserve a day without his parents - who we can tell he loves) I have had a very hard time finding time to coordinate all that I should have.

Fail?  ... eh... for once I might go easy on myself.  I think that we are making progress going to the EEU.  We also just signed up a speech therapist and an ABA therapy team.  We hired the best nanny in the world, who also is protective of Gavin and wonderful at judging weather well enough to get him to the playground :) in Seattle...

I think that the way our teams are shaping up is very appealing to me, let the family be the center of the team.  Teach us the skills to help him out.  That's why I went and spent 360.00 on dvd modules to teach us ABA training at home - and can loan them out when I find someone in need.  Or let our fantastic nanny watch them.  25 hours a week... how bout we just integrate positive behavior therapy into our every day lives?  It has worked a couple of times at work.  Sure, I could be an a-hole, but I have used the bit of encouraging, empowering education tactics I got through my nursing training in many off-beat areas - it works.  Communication is pretty powerful. 

So... I'm not going to let the autism woes get me this christmas.  If Gavin doesn't tear his wrapping paper off, neither do I.  I always liked saving it, for no reason I guess, nicely.  I found a reason for saving all the nice wrapping paper from our wedding - Scrapbook!!!  Like the ones my grandma collected from the old-timers she helped.  Maybe one day when I get time.  Like... when Gavin is in school full time (makes me want to freaking cry... being in school for life! so early!  Maybe he will like school??? I hope so.  I will not let people treat him poorly.  He is way too smart to not get affected by that). 

So ... back with the random ;)  Glad I warned you.  We will have fun and use every day literally as a lesson.  It gets tiresome at times, but I am very pleased with the amount of patience I've learned through the years. 

Love to everyone, and happy holidays!